You’re Going to Be Okay…
I woke up this morning to the first day of the online semester. We only have six weeks left. I found myself immediately overwhelmed as I stared at my constantly dinging phone, both school and work emails blowing up as more and more people pressed reply-all. I found myself staring at my laptop as I took in what I needed to grade, what needed to be recorded for my two freshmen English classes, what needed to be transcribed as I worked from home for an on-campus library, what needed to be studied for my French class, and what needed to be read for my comps exams. I found myself with a headache within half an hour of being awake. I had to close my laptop and take a deep breath.
The immediate thought that came to mind: You’re not the only one who is feeling this weight.
I opened up a notepad and started making lists, see, lists help me keep my sanity. Then slowly, but surely, I started wading through what needed to be done today. To you, the person reading this I just want to say:
You’re going to be okay.
Maybe you’re a business owner and the numbers aren’t adding up right now.
Maybe you’re a mom homeschooling very different kids on very different grade levels.
Maybe you’re a bride and you have had to postpone your wedding.
Maybe you’re a student and you’re suddenly enrolled in 16 credits of online classes.
Maybe you’re a teacher and you’re suddenly teaching 16 credits of online classes.
Maybe you’re just scared because it all seems like it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
What I want you to know is it is going to be okay; you are going to make it through this.
Right now, it is so easy to either one, act totally nonchalant and push through and stay strong for those around you or two, completely succumb to circumstance.
Whichever side you’ve chosen (or any spot in between), know that it is okay to feel those emotions, but don’t let yourself stay in that spot. I am one hundred percent the type to make sure the people around me are doing okay before I pause and check-in with myself. In this time of quarantine, now more than ever is the time to do a self-check-in.
What am I feeling?
Why?
Are the causes of these feelings out of my control?
What IS in my control?
Once you process those thoughts, just give yourself some time to feel. Give yourself grace. Grace is the greatest thing you can give yourself right now. I cannot stress enough how not alone you are in what you are being forced to process at this very moment. There are so many unknowns, so many thoughts of “but what will tomorrow bring?” You are not alone.
You are allowed to hurt right now, to cry, to dance, to sing, to laugh, to pause, to dive into work, to go for a jog, to make yourself some tea, to learn how to bake, to fail at starting up a Zoom lecture session, to succeed at making your friend who is self-quarantining alone feel a little less lonely, to breathe.
Your life is so much more than this season of uncertainty. It is so much more than this moment of not understanding, of moving pieces that are out of your control. Focus, bit by bit, on those things that are in your control. Take a nap, make a checklist, give yourself time to check things off. Give yourself the grace to check absolutely zero things off of that list today. This is new territory for us all, you are not too much, you are not dramatic, you are not over-emotional, or over-cautious. We’re going to get through this together.